Empowering Questions – And How To Use Them

The questions we ask ourselves have a profound effect on the way we think.

If you ask yourself ‘Why do I always fail?’, your mind will search for reasons – without asking itself if this is a valid question (do you always fail?) and without considering the contrary evidence of your many successes. Ask yourself, ‘Why is my life so awful?’ and your mind – obedient as ever – looks for reasons. Conversely, if you ask yourself, ‘How can I learn to really enjoy my life right now?’, it will set off in a hunt for ways you could do that instead.

Throughout this book you will have opportunities to ask yourself questions designed to train your mind to look for ways to make your life more enjoyable, more rewarding and more fulfilling. You will find them in pairs at the end of each exercise. The first of each pair is a ‘possibility’ question – that is, one which opens up your thinking and allows you to create new ideas, new ways of thinking about yourself and your life.

Some examples of possibility questions:

• How can I find a way to enjoy being here today?

• What could I most usefully learn from this situation?

• How many different ways could I do this?

The second in each pair is a ‘necessity’ question – one which focuses your mind on what you must do in order to have your dreams become real for you.

Some examples of ‘necessity’ questions:

• What must I do to accomplish my goals for today?

• What do I need to do to make this happen?

• How should I do this to get the best result?

We need to ask ourselves both types of question: ‘possibility’ questions are creative and expansive and help us generate new thinking patterns, while ‘necessity’ questions ensure that our basic needs are taken care of and we do what has to be done.

People who only ask themselves possibility questions are liable to become ineffectual dreamers who have lots of ideas but never seem to get around to putting them into action. Those who only ask themselves necessity questions risk becoming humourless, rule-bound and robotic. As in all things, we need a sensible balance.

Spend some time thinking about each pair of questions. Notice how each affects your thinking differently.

And you may like to ask yourself:

How could I use ‘possibility’ questions to increase my creativity?

What must I do to make sure I remember to do this?