1.2 Beliefs

We only do what we believe we can do.

While writing some of your ‘I want to be’s, you may have found yourself thinking, ‘This would certainly be a great belief to have, but do I really believe it?’.

You may like to consider the differences between things you believe now and things you don’t believe yet.

I believe that I can ride a bicycle. I have that belief because of a set of memories of times when I have ridden a bicycle successfully – some recent, and some dating back to childhood. When I recall one of those memories, I find myself making a picture in my mind, and that picture has certain qualities which let me know that the events recalled are ‘real’ – they actually happened – as far as I can tell.

My ‘belief’ picture has the following qualities:

• I can see it as if I were actually there – through my own eyes

• it is in full colour

• it is focused and detailed

• I can scan the picture all around me as well as up and down

• it is a moving picture – not a still photograph

• I can zoom in and out of the picture at will

• there is sound along with the picture

• I can actually feel some of the physical sensations associated with the memory

That particular combination of qualities connected with a picture tells me that ‘I believe I can do…’ whatever it is. If I think about skiing, for example, the content of the picture is different – I am on skis instead of a bicycle and there is snow around me – but the qualities are similar, and that lets me know that I can ski – albeit not very well!

On the other hand, if I ask myself, ‘Do I believe I can fly a jet plane?’, I get a different image. I have never flown a jet plane, yet I can imagine or make up a picture of what I think it might be like – together with sounds and feelings – but there are still some clues that let me know that I don’t really believe I can do it right now. The picture is less clear, less focused, not moving, less detailed and I tend to see myself as if from the outside – no longer looking through my own eyes.

Whether or not you have already been trying this out for yourself while reading the last few paragraphs, I would invite you to think now of something you have done and believe you can do, make a picture of the last time you did it and notice what qualities the picture has. Also notice how much other sensory information goes along with this image, such as sounds, feelings, tastes and smells. Your way of doing this may well be different from mine and other people’s – there is no right or wrong way.

Having completed that, choose something else you would like to do but don’t believe you can. Choose something within your physical capabilities and which does not defy any of Newton’s laws (no unassisted flying off tall buildings, please). Notice how the qualities of the image, sounds, etc, associated with it are different to those of your ‘belief’ picture.

Listed below are some of the ways in which these qualities may be different. In the left hand column, note the key qualities of your ‘believe’ picture, and in the right hand column those of your ‘don’t believe’ picture, with associated sounds, tastes and smells, if any. For example, if your ‘believe’ picture is big, bright and colourful, you might mark it as a 4 or 5 under size, brightness and colour. Don’t get stuck on being precise – this is a subjective comparison and we are looking for patterns, not scientific accuracy.

‘believe’ picture

brightness - 1 2 3 4 5 +

contrast - 1 2 3 4 5 +

sharpness - 1 2 3 4 5 +

size of pic - 1 2 3 4 5 +

closeness - 1 2 3 4 5 +

colour - 1 2 3 4 5 +

movement - 1 2 3 4 5 +

sounds - 1 2 3 4 5 +

smells - 1 2 3 4 5 +

flavours - 1 2 3 4 5 +

texture - 1 2 3 4 5 +

‘don’t believe’ picture

brightness - 1 2 3 4 5 +

contrast - 1 2 3 4 5 +

sharpness - 1 2 3 4 5 +

size of pic - 1 2 3 4 5 +

closeness - 1 2 3 4 5 +

colour - 1 2 3 4 5 +

movement - 1 2 3 4 5 +

sounds - 1 2 3 4 5 +

smells - 1 2 3 4 5 +

flavours - 1 2 3 4 5 +

texture - 1 2 3 4 5 +

Having completed this exercise, you may already have noticed that there is a consistency in the way you think about beliefs and non-beliefs. Do your ‘believe’ pictures all have similar qualities, and your ‘don’t believe’ pictures a different but nevertheless consistent set of qualities?

Notice how the emphasis might shift among the senses: when you think about an essentially physical activity – such as swimming, for example – you may have more bodily (or kinesthetic) sensations, while the memory of an intellectual pursuit – such as mathematics – may contain more sounds or more pictures. Both experiences are likely to have emotions associated with them, as this is what makes memories memorable.

Now I would invite you to bring to mind your mental picture of the thing you would like to do but don’t yet believe you can. Notice again its qualities. Now – without altering the content of the picture – change its qualities to match, as closely as possible, those of your ‘belief’ picture. You may need to zoom into it, change the colour balance, the size, the position or anything else that gets you the desired result. Play with your picture to see what works for you.

What happens? For most people, changing the qualities of the picture in this way will make it more ‘believable’. What you are doing is changing the way your brain codes or classifies that particular piece of behaviour.

Before you made the changes, your brain coded that old picture (and its associated sounds, tastes and smells) in such a way that every time you referred to it, back came a feeling of ‘I don’t believe I can do that.’ Now you can alter the coding by changing the qualities of the picture: you can choose to believe that you can do it. Once you can take control of this belief, you are most of the way towards achieving your goal.

You may have some beliefs about yourself that you would like to change. Perhaps you would like more self-confidence, for example:

Think of a situation where you would like to feel more confident. What can you do to that mental image now to enhance your belief that you really are confident? You may have noticed that when you feel really confident you stand in a certain way and breathe in a certain way, and there is a particular expression on your face that lets you and the world know that you really are confident – that you really believe in yourself? See yourself in the situation about which you have some doubts, and see yourself with that confident expression, with that posture and breathing, and make that picture brighter and bigger and more colourful if that helps, and add sound and whatever else you need for it to feel really good…

Do you get the idea? Your mind-body cannot tell the difference between a real event and a vividly imagined one, so you can use this to your advantage.

‘But aren’t you just fooling yourself into believing something that isn’t real?’, I hear someone say. And isn’t that exactly what you have been doing anyway with your ‘negative’ – or less-than-useful – beliefs? You are just choosing a different set of illusions to focus on. If you are going to have beliefs about yourself, why not have useful, empowering ones – it’s no more effort, and it’s a whole lot more fun!

The real point here is that the way you think directly affects the way you act. If you think confident thoughts, you will begin to behave in a more confident way. If you think loving thoughts, you will find yourself becoming a more loving person.

You can think of this as a kind of ‘mental rehearsal’. For example, if you have an interview arranged for a job you really want, it will be helpful to rehearse the scene ahead of time in your mind, running it through first from your own point of view to make sure you are feeling good, and then from the interviewer’s point of view to check you are giving the right impression and ‘selling’ yourself effectively. By repeating this several times, making adjustments where necessary, you will undoubtedly enhance your performance and greatly improve your chances of success.

No actor would dream of going on stage for a performance without thoroughly rehearsing their part. The process of rehearsal creates memories of having ‘got it right’ a number of times already, which overcomes one of our commonest fears: doing something new for the first time. As far as your body-mind is concerned, you have already been through this interview several times, so what is there to be afraid of? Actors do have the advantage of knowing what the other actors will say and do in response to their lines, and by running through the most probable variations, you can also anticipate the most likely responses – even of people you have never met.

How else could you use mental researsal to create useful beliefs?

Empowering Questions

What new beliefs could be most useful to me?

Which beliefs do I most need to change?